11 things your nurse thinks

Eleven Things Your Nurse Thinks (But Will Never Tell You)
by VivaLasViejas Staff

http://allnurses.com/members/21565/

Since I've presented my top 10 list of the things I love about nursing, it's time now for a visit to the darker side.

Here are some decidedly UN-lovely thoughts I've entertained from time to time:

1) If you yell "HELP!" one. more. time. without a really, really, REALLY good reason for it, I am going to come down there, shut the door, and give you a good dose of pillow therapy.

2) Sure, go ahead and sign out AMA. It's your choice. Just a reminder, though: if you leave, your insurance won't pay for your stay. Better yet, you won't be my responsibility anymore.........and believe me, I won't miss you.

3) I don't give a rodent's rump that you're related to the hospital administrator! The AMI patient down the hall who just went into V-tach needs me more than you need another blanket.

4) Thank you for asking me to check out your grandchildrens' photos, but I have a strict policy of never touching patients' wallets, and frankly, I don't have the time to breathe, let alone stand here looking at pictures of people I don't even know.

5) Yanno, when MY doctor prescribes water pills, I take them no matter how much I hate having to pee every 20 minutes. That's why I'm not in here for CHF, and you are.

6) No, "Mamma" is NOT going to get better, and if I were in her shoes, I'd haunt you for the rest of your days for keeping me 'alive' on a ventilator with my wrists tied down so I don't yank on the tubes coming out of my every orifice. She's had two major strokes and an MI, she's full of osteoporosis, and she has an advanced directive saying she didn't want any heroic measures if she ever got into a situation like this. What part of 'Do Not Resuscitate' don't you understand?

7) Please don't come to the ER for a sore throat that you've had for two weeks, demand refills on your soda pop every five minutes, and then complain loudly to your companion about the "lousy service" you're getting.

8) Yes, I have seen something like that before. In fact, I've seen things you can't even imagine that are a whole lot worse.

9) It is NOT my job to: answer your phone/find you some napkins/take out your trash/send out for pizza/pick up after your visitors/run a message to your friend down the hall/go to the kitchen to fetch a tray for your brother/cater to your every whim. (I've done all these things and more for my patients; it's just not what I was educated and trained for, and you need to know that.)

10) I apologize for my cynicism, but experience has taught me that multiplying the number of drinks/pills/hits you admit to having taken by three or more tends to give me a more accurate picture of what's really going on with you.

11) I'm actually a very kind, compassionate, caring individual, but some folks make me wonder if God made man NOT in His own image, but so that skunks wouldn't think they've been given a dirty deal.

Have a nice day...........

Your Nurse

karma's a bitch

Morgan's first day of pre-school was today. Everyone warned me its tougher on the parents. "No big deal", I thought to myself, she's gone to a mom's day out since she was two and I leave her everyday when I go to work. She'll be fine. I'll be fine.

Yea, not so much.

Today she also got a "big girl bed" My mom brought over a twin bed, as the little miss has outgrown her toddler bed.

Today was a really hard day.

I kinda lost it just a little bit after putting up the big girl bed, in the privacy of my own car as I drove to meet a friend for lunch. She's closing in on four. She's a big kid. My one and only child is not a baby anymore.

This only reminds me that my life is nothing like I though it should be right now. I feel alone, that I dont' really fit in anywhere. I don't identify with my married friends, I don't fit in with my single friends. I'm just stuck in the middle, stuck just watching the years pass by. Without a promise. Without a purpose. Without direction.

Over two years ago, I changed my direction. But I've been lost ever since, I've been treading water trying to stay afloat but I'm lost and I'm alone. I know, no matter how hard it is, I know I'm better off now. But, I know that life isn't always butterlies, rainbows and puppy dogs; but I used to think that maybe someday I'd get my happy ending just like everyone else. But,not everybody gets a happy ending.

stop feeding the damn pig....seriously